December 14, 2011
Mr. Burns Reflects - The Beard

With No Shave November over and Decem-Beard in mid-swing, I feel as if it’s only proper to start a new little series with reflection on the beard itself. But before I get started, take a look at this chart to see where you fall if you’re lucky enough to have facial hair.

beard chart

The beard is something that comes with being a man. When you’re just a boy and you first start getting the peach fuzz on your face it’s something new and cool, but as you get older it becomes almost a right of being grown.

One thing to know however is that there are many different types of beards, and finding out which one you possess is very important. The above chart shows you the many types of facial hair (beards, goatees, and mustaches alike). I currently have the Classic Hipster or the ‘Zach Galifianakis’ as I like to call it.

Along with the different styles you can possess, there are also a few rules that you must acknowledge about the beard:

  1. The Beard is a symbol of pride, respect it.  The beard is a symbol of being a man. It takes time and patience to grow one, and for some it takes much concentration (..it could happen). Whether you’re growing one because it’s your first time, you’re a college kid during November, you’re homeless and don’t possess a razor, or you’re Gandalf/Dumbledore just remember that it’s something to be proud of. And it needs to be respected.
  2. SOME women, not ALL appreciate them.  The problem with guys nowadays is that they lack the ability to know when a beard is appropriate. Interviewing for a law firm tomorrow? Shave. About to enter finals week in college? Let it grow! But more importantly, pay attention to the women around you. If you’re interested in a woman, make sure she approves of the beard because some women don’t appreciate them. Nothing is more shameful than losing your chance at a woman because of the fuzz under your chin.
  3. Maintain the beard.  Once again, the beard is a symbol of pride. It’s important to make sure you maintain it correctly. Every morning (or night for you weird people) that you shower, wash your beard. It takes no more than a few seconds longer than when you wash your hair, it keeps it looking nice and oil free. Also trimming the beard is necessary! Don’t wait for the scraggly hairs to start breaking free showing themselves, trim it and keep it neat. Your lady friends will appreciate it.

That my friends is a short reflection and guide on the beard. Enjoy this post? Share it with others please! And as always, look for more reflections in the future. I leave you with on last picture, so get to measuring your beard. 


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